Friday, September 10, 2010

Big Choppers Remorse...

When I first big chopped the biggest adjustment for me was length. I hated having short hair. More, I hated not having hair long enough to cover my considerable forehead. Lol! Even when my hair was short and relaxed I always had my swoop. I knew I wasn't prepared to fight those two textures with a lengthy transition, so short was my only option. My wig and hair piece phase was cool for a while, but even though I didn't like my cut, I wanted to be natural. Obviously, I was going to have to work at accepting my reflection in the mirror.

One day I was feeling particularly down and I was laying around watching reruns of Law&Order: Criminal Intent and an actress I was familiar with caught my eye. It was Tawney Cypress from Hero's. I had always admired her big natural curls from the show. The thing was though, on this episode of CI her hair was short. I immediately checked the date of the episode and it was just 3 years earlier... For some reason that was so comforting to me. This woman who I did not know, with hair nothing like mine gave me such a boost, just because I saw that her hair grew. Random right? After that "ah ha moment" I started collecting images of naturals with textures more like mine with lengths I aspire to. They are my reminders that hair grows.

If you are experiencing what I went through, I encourage you to find whatever motivates you and nurture it. Looking at those pictures worked for me. Natural hair blogs and youtube also made a huge impact. What ever your woes; give it time. If it's your texture, learn how to keep it healthy and looking it's best and acceptance will come. Trial and error is inevidable, but that is how you educate yourself. Frustration is not uncommon and satisfaction may not come overnight but you will get there. My hair has grown a lot since that big chop and  my goal length is still a couple of years away. Those down days still rear their ugly head from time to time too, but some days I am just in awe of my kinky curls. I have even made peace with my huge five head. It's mine and just as much a part of me as this natural hair on my head...

Tawney Cypress with short hair
Tawney Cypress on Hero's
Did you have or do you have BC remorse? What are/were your concerns and how do you stay motivated?


  1. I think we all have a BC journey/story. For me I didn't do a lot of research before I did my BC, really I don't think I did any until my BC and even afterwards my research was minimual, I just went into product junkie mode (well I'm still a product junkie). I've had short hair before so that wasn't a concern of mine, however the texture was my major concern I thought I was going to look like Florida Evans and yes I was still brain washed with the whole "good hair" mentality so deep down I wanted to look like Tracy Ellis Ross whose still one of my hair idols.

    My only remorse was not doing more research before I did my BC. I stay motivated by blogs and youtube videos (which I've recently started watching), it's been 3 years and it's still a work in progress. I admit I've gotten extremly lazy when it comes to my hair however now that I'm weave free I'm committed to growing my hair and nuturing my hair by reading blogs daily and experimenting with different things so you can say I'm starting from scratch because in my mind I feel as though my hair should be longer than what it is after 3 years.

  2. Wow Nikki that was very honest thank you so much for sharing that.

  3. No problem, I LOVE hair talk. Like I said I visit natural hair blogs religiously now and really excited about experimenting with new things though I already have a hair regiment.